January 2012
88 posts
Winterball 2012
1.21.2012.
Super busy day from the beginning. I got up at 5:00 a.m. to prep for BPA stuff, take a shower, and get all my things for the day ready. I went to Melia’s house at 7:30 and chilled there for another half hour before we finally left for Frisco. I almost wasn’t able to print out my resume, but my mom emailed it to me, so yay :]
Frisco is freaking far. And beautiful. The...
ayeeelina asked: This is kinda random, but I saw you at lunch today and you looked really pretty! c:
Here we go again.
Cue the tears. And the reminder of people who don’t care (but thank God for the people that do). Throw in always having to go out of my way to avoid the pain, to maintain my sanity.
That intense want to talk to someone. But at the same time the intense need to fix it on my own. To be less dependent.
No, you don’t know what’s going on with me. And you probably never will.
How...
Thunderstorms are scary :/
Best friend: Hey there! I know you're probably scared right now... The thunder is loud! Just know that I love you and I'm here for you if you need a cuddle buddy :)
Awhh, I love this so much. It made it a little easier to bear with the thunder and lightning ♥
Single sadness
Me: Am I willing to spend four more hours typing this up?
Me: Yes. Because I have nothing better to do.
Maryann: That's what happens when you're single.
Me: WOWWWWW.
Maryann: What?? Me too :]
Winterball
Definitely a night of firsts.
Studiously keeping my distance from the things...
But oh how easy it is to break me down.
Anonymous asked: Those who are strong have the most doubts because they know exactly what they're up against. I don't know what you're up against, but knowing you you'll power though it. You are stronger than you know, and things will get better, I promise <3
No, I'm not okay.
The demons inside my head won’t leave.
You: Omgs! I've missed you so much!
Me: Really? Cause you sure haven't acted like it.
On the edge of a breakdown
I can’t deal. How did it even get to this point?
Once upon a time, I thought I was invincible. Or maybe not even invincible. But I thought I could bounce back from anything. It turns out I can’t.
You fight because because you either have something you want to win, or because you know you’ll win.
I didn’t know if I’d win or not, but I’d hoped that I would. I...
As per usual,
hearing anything from or about you manages to ruin my mood.
But ugh. Clean up day today. Lots of things to get rid of. Lots of homework to do too. Meh.
Inferiority.
Just saw something that made my heart drop.
There will always be someone who can do anything I can do better.
But then again, there is noone that is a combination of everything that I am.
But seriously. Asian. Dancer. Pretty. Religious. Responsible. Well-liked.
Ridiculous. At least, I am.
But it gets better everyday.
Enlightening conversations.
Strangers and friends, then strangers...
Sigh.
Me: Do you think he hates me?
Friend: Just tryna move on in the most extreme manner
Me too bro, me too. Dance dance dance it all away <3 I’m throwing myself into spring show and competition. I have such cute ads this year <3